I WILL GRANT YOU REST

Words  By : St. John of Kronstadt 

Genuine Repentance & Confession heals and makes the immortal soul holy. This is the correct way to prepare for Holy Communion.

So that we can better examine the depths of our conscience, it would be ideal to first read several books on the Sacrament of Confession. Also, discuss any uncertainties that you may have with your wise Spiritual Father-Confessor. The greatest science or knowledge is to get to know ourselves. Also we must not deny ourselves the greatest thing that every human soul thirsts for: a peaceful conscience and eternity with God.

This joy is only granted by the God-Man, our Lord Jesus Christ. He himself instituted the single path to salvation for the repentant sinner within his Church, the holy Sacrament of Repentance and Confession. This is why, friend, you must overcome any obstacle whatsoever that blocks the road to Holy Confession. Here awaits you with genuine Christian love the good Confessor, the representative of Christ, who as a fellow human being can understand and have compassion on his brethren who are also sinful.

 

 Cast far   away, brethren, any thought of embarrassment or fright. Why be seared or frightened when your soul frets and pains from the deadly consequences of multi-faceted sin. If sickness tortured your body, would you avoid the hospital or doctor because of embarrassment? 

But at the same time, do not be led astray by certain people who wish to have read on them a “blessing only,” without having previously confessed. Whenever this happens from ignorance or neglect, it is a terrible sin and an insult to God. With faith, then, and honesty, proceed to Holy Confession.

Be certain also that the infinite love of the crucified and resurrected Lord will welcome you and transform you, removing the weight that burdens you! He himself said, 

“Come to Me all ye that are heavy laden and I will grant you rest.

         You and God

Do you believe in God, the Holy Trinity, and in the divinity of Christ? Do you respect the Holy Virgin Mary, the Saints, and the Angels? Do you believe in the Church and its Mysteries (Sacraments)? Do you believe that Heaven and Hell exist?

Do you trust yourself always, and especially during the difficult times of your life, to the care and Providence of God? Or do you despair and show a lack of faith?

Perhaps in the problems, afflictions, sicknesses, and trials of your life you moan and complain against God and lose your faith and confidence?

Do you believe in mediums, fortune-telling, tarot card reading, or coffee-cup reading? Do you tell other people to believe in such things and go to such people?

Do you believe in superstition?

Do you believe in luck?

Do you pray morning and evening and before and after each meal? Are you embarrassed to make the sign of the cross in the presence of others, for example, in a restaurant or outside a holy church when you are passing by? Do you not make your cross properly?

Do you read the Holy Bible as well as other Orthodox spiritual books daily?

Do you go to 

church on Sundays and on the major Feast Days?[3]

Do you follow the Divine Liturgy carefully and reverently from the start until the end, or do you go late and leave before the end? Do you let your mind wander in church?

Do you go to church dressed in a proper and dignified way? Are you careful not to laugh, or talk even if it is a Wedding or Baptismal service?

Do you perhaps prevent or restrict your spouse or children from going to church? Or do you tell your acquaintances not to go to church?

Do you commune regularly or only once a year, and then without Holy Confession?

Do you give oaths without need or, if so, lie as well? Did you perhaps not fulfill your oath, vow, or promise? The Bible forbids oaths completely, saying that our “yes” be “yes” and our “no” be “no” (St Matthew 5:7).

Do you blaspheme the Name of God, the Virgin Mary, and our Saints by speaking irreverently of them?

Do you fast (unless you have a serious health problem) on Wednesdays and Fridays and during the appointed periods of the year?[4]

Do you throw religious books or periodicals in unclean places?

          You and Others

Do you have hatred and ill-feelings towards someone who did you wrong or insulted you in their anger?

Are you suspicious and do you without reason suspect that everyone supposedly talks about you, that they don't want you, and that they don't love or like you?

Are you jealous and upset over the progress, fortune, possessions and beauty of others?

Are you unmoved by the misfortune and needs of your fellow men?

In your transactions with your business partners, co-workers, and clients, are you honest and forthright?

Have you criticized or slandered your fellow man, wrongly accusing them?

Are you sarcastic and patronizing towards believers, or towards those who fast and endeavor to live a Christian life, or towards those who have physical/mental problems and/or disabilities?

If you heard some information or criticism against someone, did you pass it on to others and harm (even unwillingly) their reputation and respect?

Did you criticize the conduct, actions, faults, and mistakes of another person when they were not present, even if what you said was the truth? Have you ever criticized the clergy? Do you gossip about and criticize the personal lives of others? Did you listen to someone blaspheming God or a holy person, and not protest?

Do you curse those who have harmed you, or curse yourself in difficult moments of your life, or curse the day and hour in which you were born?

Do you send others “to the devil” or give them rude hand gestures?

Do you respect your parents? Do you look after them? Do you put up with their elderly weaknesses? Do you help them with their bodily and spiritual needs? Are you mindful of their spiritual needs by making sure they go to church and partake worthily of Holy Communion? Have you abandoned them?

Have you misguided your parents to leave to you in their will more of their estate than is proper, thus causing injustice to your brothers and sisters?

Perhaps in your anger did you hit anyone with your hands or injure them with your words?

Do you perform your job or occupation properly and with a good conscience? Or are you unfair to others?

Do you steal? Perhaps you have encouraged or helped another person to steal? Have you agreed to cover up a theft? Have you bought or accepted goods known to be stolen?

Are you ungrateful towards God and generally towards your helpers and beneficiaries? Do you grumble and murmur against them?

Do you keep company with bad and sinful people or associates? With your words or example, have you ever pushed anyone to sin?

Have you ever committed forgery? Have you ever embezzled or defrauded the public? Have you borrowed money and/or other possessions and without returning or repaying them?

Have you ever committed murder, in any way?

Do you entangle yourself in the lives of others or in their work or their families and become the cause of strife, quarrels and disturbances?

Do you have mercy and compassion on the poor, on orphans, on the elderly, on families with many children struggling to make ends meet?

Have you lied or added or subtracted from the truth? Do you flatter others in order to get your own way?

Did you craftily ask for a dowry when you declared your intentions to marry?

Have you ever sent an anonymous or cruel letter to anyone?

              Yourself

Are you a slave to materialism and worldly goods?

Are you greedy or a lover of money?

Are you stingy?

Are you wasteful? Do you live by the Gospel command that whatever you have leftover and above your needs belongs to the poor? Do you have too much love towards pets and waste money on them while people are dying of starvation?

Are you conceited and arrogant? Do you talk hack to your elders and superiors?

Do you like to show off with your clothing, wealth, fortunes, and the academic achievements of your children or of yourself?

Do you seek attention and glory from people? Do you wear perfume, make-up, and change the appearance that your Creator gave to you?

Do you accept compliments and praise from others gladly and like to be told that no one else exists who is as good as you?

Do you get upset when others reveal your faults and do you get offended when others examine you and when your seniors make comments about you? Do you get angry?

Are you perhaps stubborn, high-minded, egotistical, proud, or cowardly? Be careful with these sins, as the diagnosis and solution to them are difficult.

Do you gamble or play cards, even without money, with relatives and people at home to “kill time” as the saying goes?

Have sexual sins polluted your body, mind, or soul? For example, have you engaged in fornication (sexual intercourse before marriage), or masturbation, prostitution, homosexuality, lesbianism, etc.?

Do you watch dirty shows on television or at the movies?

Do you read pornographic, immoral books and magazines?

Have you ever considered committing suicide?

Are you a slave to your stomach (i.e. gluttony)?

Are you lazy, careless and negligent? Do you not help out when you can?

Do you say improper, dirty, and immoral words or use swear words for the sake of humor or to insult or humiliate others?

Do you have a spirit of self-denial?

Do you expel from your mind bad or sly thoughts that come to pollute your heart?

Are you careful so that your eyes don't gaze or stare at provocative pictures or people? Do you go to the movies and theatres?

Are you careful what you ears hear? Do you like to hear sinful music and conversations?

Do you dress immorally? If you are a woman, do you wear men's clothing, (e.g. pants) or short skirts, open shirts; transparent shirts, and scandalize others with your appearance? In addition, do you dress in this way when appearing at holy places? If you are a man, do you dress provocatively?

Have you appeared naked in public or semi-naked in a swimsuit or bikini publicly?

Do you dance in a provocative and sinful manner? Do you listen to sinful immoral songs? Do you frequent parties, nightclubs, and bars? Do you celebrate sinful, worldly festivals such as mardigras, gay and lesbian festivals, Halloween etc.?

Are you a drunkard? Do you abuse “recreational” or pharmaceutical drugs?

Do you smoke? Smoking destroys your God-given valuable health and is also wasteful of money, and therefore is a sin.

Do you talk excessively about meaningless things?

              For Couples

Do you remain faithful to each other? It is tragic when one of you is unfaithful to the other.

Did one of you embarrass or criticize the other publicly or privately?

Do you not endure the apparent weakness of the other? Do you show harshness?

Do you or your partner permit the other to follow the latest fashion and trend and anything which is opposed to the law of God? Do you perhaps drag the other along to parties on the condition that you will in this way provide the other the means to follow fashion and a worldly life?

Do you take into consideration the struggle the other has outside and inside the home, so that you both help each other bodily and spiritually in the struggle?

As a partner, have you had excessive sexual demands and degraded your relationship? Do you abstain from sexual relations on Wednesdays, Fridays, Sundays, Feast Days, (including the night before) and on the days of the Holy Fasts of the Church?

Do you perhaps prevent your partner from going to church, spiritual gatherings and talks?

Do you bring up your children “in the instruction and counsel of Christ”? Do you only concern yourself with their intellectual growth and not with the nature of their character?

Do you direct your children to go to church regularly, to go to confession, to frequently partake of Holy Communion (properly prepared), and to go to Sunday school? Do you teach holy virtues by word and example? Have you taught them to pray in the morning, evening and before and after at each meal? Have you taught them to pray with respect and reverence?

Are you careful of the things they read? Do you buy books and periodical of religious and cultural subjects for them to read and lean?

Do you watch with whom they keep company and who their friends are?

Do you lead them to sinful shows and entertainment or allow them to watch television unsupervised?

Do you teach them humility and meekness and are you careful that they dress in a dignified way?

Do you curse them when they upset you? Do you “send them to hell” or “to the devil”?

Have you had abortions or do you prevent yourself from having children (i.e. contraception)?

Have you been unjust to your children in the division of your estate?

Do you as a parent believe that the responsibility of raising and educating your children rests only with your partner? You have an obligation to educate them and to read to them so that you can relieve you partner.

Do you scorn your children by giving them insulting hand gestures and reprimand them with improper language?

Does each of you love and respect the parents of the other?

Do the grandparents of your children and other relatives get too involved in the family and cause disagreements and disputes?

Do you interfere in your children's families?

Is your partner a blasphemer? Have patience, and try hard to eliminate cursed blasphemy!

Have you ever considered divorcing your partner?

Do you allow your children to become fanatical about sports and even miss church in order to play (e.g. Sunday morning games)?

Are you fair and just with your family, considering and respecting their views and wishes, or do you behave like a dictator?

He who is accustomed to give account of his life at confession here will not fear to give an answer at the terrible judgment-seat of Christ. It is for this purpose that the mild tribunal of penitence was here instituted, in order that we, being cleansed and amended through penitence here below, may give an answer without shame at the terrible judgment-seat of Christ. This is the first motive for sincere confession, and, moreover, it must absolutely be made every year. The longer we remain without confessing, the worse it is for us, the more entangled we become in the bonds of sin, and therefore the more difficult it is to give an account. The second motive is tranquillity: the more sincere has been our confession, the more tranquil will the soul be afterwards. Sins are secret serpents, gnawing at the heart of a man and all his being; they do not let him rest, they continually suck his heart; sins are prickly thorns, constantly goring the soul; sins are spiritual darkness. Those who repent must bring forth the fruits of repentance.

Consciousness, memory, imagination, feeling, and will are helps to penitence. As we sin with all the powers of our soul, so penitence must be from our whole soul. Penitence in words only, without the intention of amendment and without the feeling of contrition, may be called hypocritical. Should the consciousness of sins be obscured, it must be cleared up; should the feeling be smothered and dulled, it must be roused; should the will become blunt and too weak for amendment, it must be forced; “the kingdom of heaven suffereth violence, and the violent take it by force.” (St. Matt. 11:12) Confession must be sincere, deep, and full.

The Sacrament Is Not Merely Judicial ;

The Sacrament of Confession   Jul5by   Marcelo P. Souza

 

The sacrament of Repentance (or Penitence, or Confession)

begins to be administered to the faithful from the moment they are old enough to know the difference between right and wrong and to understand what sin is (K. Ware mentions that this happens usually at age six or seven). Of course, all baptized adults are expected to confess regularly from the moment of their baptism, since, through this sacrament, sins committed after baptism are forgiven and the sinner is reconciled to the Church. Thus, it is often called a “second baptism.”

The sacrament is not merely judicial; rather it provides the double benefit of absolution as well as spiritual advice which is given as a cure for the healing of the soul. In the Orthodox Church, with theosis as the central dynamic of the Christian life, there is a great emphasis on the healing of the person, and not merely a sense of penal restitution. Yet, the prescription given in the spiritual advice will often include directing the penitent to take whatever steps necessary to restore the human relationships that have been affected by his or her sin, since sin is not only against God but also against our neighbor, against the community.The recognition of the many ramifications of personal sins affecting others was such in the early Church that both the confession and the penitential discipline were public affairs; since then, especially with the greater recognition that forgiveness of sins after baptism was not limited to one or two times, confession has taken the form of a private conference between priest and penitent alone, and it is encouraged that this will take place regularly. The private character of the conference between the penitent and the confessor also requires that the latter (usually a priest) is forbidden to reveal to any third party what he has learnt in confession.

In Orthodoxy confessions are heard in any convenient place, usually at the church, but not necessarily so. Closed confessionals with a grille separating confessor and penitent are not used, as it is (or was) customary in the West. If the meeting takes place at church, it is usually in the open, immediately in front of the iconostasis, or sometimes standing behind a screen, or even in a special room set apart for confessions. Whereas in the West it is usual that the priest sits and the penitent kneels, in the Orthodox Church they both sit or both stand. The penitent often faces a desk on which are placed the cross and an icon of the Savior, or the Book of the Gospels; the priest stands slightly to the side.This is important to note because the setting reflects the underlying theology of the practice. In the Orthodox Church, it is emphasized that in Confession it is not the priest but God who is the judge, while the priest is only a witness and God’s minister. This is why the Sacrament begins with, “Behold, my child, Christ stands here invisibly and receives your confession . . . but tell me without hesitation all the things that you have done, and so you will have pardon from our Lord Jesus Christ  . . . I am only a witness . . .”Upon hearing the confession, the priest will often ask questions, and then he will give advice. After confessing everything, the penitent kneels or bows his or her head, and the priest places his epitrachelion on the penitent’s head. The priest then lays his hand on the stole, and says the prayer of absolution. In the Greek practice, the Priest says:“Whatever you have said to my humble person, and whatever you have failed to say, whether through ignorance or forgetfulness, whatever it may be, may God forgive you in this world and the next…. 

Have no further anxiety; go in peace.”The Slavonic formula of absolution, introduced by Peter Moghila, Metropolitan of Kiev, and adopted by the Russian Church in the 18^th century, is as follows:“May Our Lord and God, Jesus Christ, through the grace and bounties of His love towards mankind, forgive you, my Child [Name] all your transgressions. And I, an unworthy Priest, through the power given me by Him, forgive and absolve you from all yours sins.” Many Orthodox feel that in this 18^th century form, in which the priest uses the first person pronoun in connection to the forgiveness and absolution of the sins of the penitent, is a declension from the traditional sacramental practice of the East, for in no other case does the priest speak in the first person singular.The priest also may impose a penance (which has no juridical component, rather facilitating means of restoration of relationships or personal reorientation), but this is not an essential part of the sacrament, and in fact it is often omitted. Also, confession may be made to one’s spiritual father, who might or might not be one’s priest. As Metropolitan Kallistos points out, in the Orthodox Church spiritual guidance is given often by an unordained monk or by a nun, and less commonly by members of the non-monastic laity. When that is the case, they hear the confession and give counsel in God’s name, assuring the penitent of divine forgiveness; but this is not considered to be, in the strict sense, the sacrament of Confession.In Orthodoxy there is no strict rule concerning how often one needs to go to Confession. Where communion is infrequent, the priest might expect the parishioners to confess each time before communion, but where communion is frequent, parishioners will not do so as often as communion takes place. The regular practice of Confession, however, is a vital means for the synergistic process of deification. As St Seraphim of Sarov stated, the Christian life is nothing else than the acquisition of the Holy Spirit; prayer, fasting, vigils and all other Christian practices – including repentance and sacramental confession which gives context to fasting, vigils and so on – are indispensable means of attaining that aim. In Confession, as in every sacramental action of the Church, the Holy Spirit is invoked. Also, as with all the other sacraments of the Church, confession is a personal sacrament, i.e., the means whereby God’s grace is appropriated individually to a Christian.Repentance is an act of reconciliation and reintegra­tion into the Body of Christ, which has been torn asunder by sin. “Therefore, confess your sins to one another … that you may be healed” (Jas 5:16). The motive for repentance is at all times humility, and the recognition of our dependence upon God not only for our forgiveness, but also for our strength to continually begin anew in his paths, putting off the old man and putting on the new man who is being created in the image of Christ. “For this life,” states John Chrysostom, “is in truth wholly devoted to repen­tance . . . This is why it is necessary to re­pent, not merely for one or two days, but throughout one’s whole life.”[1] Repentance is a way of life, of transfiguration, a continuous act of seeking and acquiring the illumina­tion of the Holy Spirit. It is a continuous pathway and a perennial striving.The Greek term for repentance, μετάνοια, denotes a change of mind, a reorientation, a fundamentally different way of knowing oneself and looking at the world. “Repentance,” says Basil the Great, “is salva­tion, but lack of understanding is the death of repentance.”[2]The words for “confess” in Greek (ἐξοmολογέω, ὁmολογέω) denote an acceptance of and sub­mission to the divine Logos beyond and above the nature and condition of man. To confess is not so much to recognize and ex­pose a failure as to go forward and upward, to respond from within to the calling of God.

There are two dimensions of repentance:

 Divine initiative and human response. God’s initiative has been primarily in his coming to us when we have turned from him, as Christ became incarnate for us and for our salvation. God is love, and he offers his love to all who repent and come to him. He objectifies his love and gives it unconditionally, in the person of his Son, and he sheds his love abroad in our hearts in the person of the Holy Spirit. The response to this ineffable outpouring of love is its acceptance.

The sacrament of   Confession is one of the most important means for the connection between the repentant sinner and his restoration through his acceptance of God’s love, reciprocated by the penitent’s commitment to turn from his ways and live. St. John says that if we confess our sins, [God] is faithful and just, and will forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9).                      

   

The Twilight

A LENTEN PILGRIMAGE        Rev. Fr. K M George 

“The night is almost gone, and the day is near. Therefore let us lay aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armour of light.”

(Romans 13:12).

Twilight is the state of semi-darkness between night and day, either at the break of dawn or after sunset. We think we see, but don't see clearly. We think we are sure, yet get confused. We make errors of judgment at twilight.

A Rabbi asked his disciples, 

“When do you know it is morning?”

“It is when you can distinguish a fig tree from an olive tree”, said a student.

The teacher was not satisfied. He asked another student.

“It is when you can see the difference between a sheep and a dog.”

Still not getting the right answer the teacher said,

 “It is when you can recognise the person coming to you as a brother or sister.”

In the biblical language about the day and the night we are not referring to our usual day and night. It is about the moral and spiritual quality of light or its absence that the Scripture refers to. Most crimes are committed at night. So, criminal tendency is identified with darkness. Most of those who want to do wrong things do it under cover. They do not want to come to light, to be exposed.

Christ came as light in a world of darkness and death.

 The gospels reflect the prophecy of Isaiah who said:

“The people who were sitting in darkness saw a great light; those who were sitting in the land and shadow of death, upon them a light dawned.”

(Matthew 4:16; Isaiah 9:2).

This was the beginning of the enlightening gospel of Christ. Early Christians took this light into their conduct and way of life. The truthfulness and transparency of their daily living and their relationship to others were well-known. One could distinguish Christians from others by the way they talked and dealt with others. They were mostly ordinary people or even those below the poverty line. Yet they believed that they were children of light and that they belonged to a different order of society where the darkness of evil had no power.

In the morning, we wash ourselves, change our clothes, and put on what is necessary for our day-time work. We no longer wear the night dress. Our conduct is open to the daylight. We are to shed off the ways of evil as we change dirty clothes.

Yet it is difficult for many in the world since the twilight lingers with its confusing shadows and erroneous perceptions. We are unable to see a brother in a man who works for us, or a sister in a young woman who passes by. We abuse, attack, harass, rape, kill... then it is not yet morning.

Lent is the break of dawn when we make an effort to see clearly what is what and who is who. We struggle, yet we do it with the power of the Holy Spirit who discerns everything. Jesus our Lord also struggled in the desert fighting the powerful enemy, but He won. So we hold on to the hand of our Lord as we make this Lenten journey from darkness.

Today Its World Marriage Day

HARDCORE TRUTH ABOUT MARRIAGE!

By Michelle Barrack Obama

1. There is nothing that threatens the security of a wife than the thought of another woman competing for the attention and affection of her husband. Nothing is more painful. Nothing is more disrespecting. Nothing is more insulting. Nothing is more belittling and degrading.

2. Marriage flourishes when the couple works together as a team; when both husband and wife decide that winning together is more important than keeping score.

Good marriages don't just happen. They are a product of hard work.

3. Your children are watching you and forming lasting opinions on love, commitment, and marriage based on what they see in you. Give them hope. Make them look forward to marriage.

4. Husbands: The reason why other women look attractive is because someone is taking good care of them. Grass is always green where it is watered. Instead of drooling over the green grass on the other side of the fence, work on yours and water it regularly. Any man can admire a beautiful woman, but it takes a true gentleman to make a woman admirable and beautiful.

5. When a husband puts his wife first above everyone and everything except God and his parents, it gives his wife the sense of security and honor that every wife hungers for.

6. A successful marriage doesn't require a big house, a prefect spouse, a million dollars or an expensive car. You can have all the above and still have a miserable marriage. A successful marriage requires honesty, undying commitment and selfless love and God at the center of it all.

7. Pray for your spouse every day; in the morning, in the afternoon and at evening. Don’t wait until there is a problem. Don’t wait until there is an affair. Don’t wait until something bad happens. Don’t wait until your spouse is tempted. Shield your spouse with prayer and cover your marriage with the fence of prayer.

8. The people you surround yourself with have a lot of influence on your marriage. Friends can build or break your marriage; choose them wisely.

9. One spouse cannot build a marriage alone when the other spouse is committed to destroying it. Marriage works when both husband and wife work together as a team to build their marriage.

10. Don't take your spouse for granted. Don't take advantage of your spouse's meekness and goodness. Don't mistake your spouse's loyalty for desperation. Don't misuse or abuse yours spouse's trust. You may end up regretting after losing someone that meant so much to you.

11. Beware of marital advice from single people. Regardless of how sincere their advice may be, most of it is theoretical and not derived from real life experiences. If you really need Godly advice, seek it from God-fearing, impartial and prayerful mature couples whose resolve has been tested by time and shaped by trials.

12. Dear wife, don't underestimate the power of the tongue on your marriage. The tongue has the power to crush your marriage or build it up. Don't let the Devil use your tongue to kill your spouse's image, self-confidence and aspirations. Let God use your tongue to build up your marriage and bless and praise your spouse.

Marriage is teamwork which works best without third party influence. Don't let others predict the fate of your marriage. Create a relationship that is unaffected by the false presumptions of others