SEXUALITY

 Written By

HIS EXCELLENCY, HON. ROTR. ABRAHAM IKENNA EKEADA

(The president of UGUA)
E-MAIL: abrahamikekeada@yahoo.com

INTRODUCTION: 

From birth to death we are sexuality beings, whether we are engaged in a sexuality relationship or not. The pontifical council for the family in their article on “the truth and meaning of human sexuality” says that, sexuality is a fundamental component of personality; one of its mode of being, of manifestation, of communicating with others, of feeling, of expressing and of living human love. In fact, human life which is manifested in human sexuality is a gift received in order to be given as a gift. This gift reveals a particular characteristic of human existence or rather the very essence of the person. For when God says that “it is not good that man should be alone (Gen 2:18), what He meant is that man has never realize his complete existence in being alone. And He responded to that case by giving him a help mate.

Consequently, as married love is fulfilled in openness to the other person and self-giving, so also, the vocation to the consecrated life is fulfilled in openness and self-giving to God alone.

 Our deepest feelings for other people, our fantasies, our feelings about our bodies and our sensual feelings are all part of our personalities and of our sexualities.

Since we have understood the natural idea of sexuality, we are not ignorant of sexual aberrations and scandals, but we must bear in mind that sexuality, that is oriented, elevated and integrated by love acquires truly human quality.
Therefore, sexuality is not something purely biological rather it concerns the intimate nucleus of the person. The use of sexuality as physical giving has its own and reaches its full meaning when it expresses the personal giving of man and woman.

DEFINITION OF TERMS:

SEXUALITY:

Etymologically, the word sexuality is derived from the Greek word “Sextus” meaning love. Sexuality is a sexual intercourse between a man and a woman, a man and a man, a woman and a woman. Therefore human sexuality from this point and view, simply means the way of being in and relating to oneself, others and to the world as a whole, either as a male or female person. Jude Adindu goes beyond this idea by saying that sexual behavior should be understood and conceptualized as something which goes beyond reproduction. A man always acts as a man and has experiences as man, in the family, in the school, in the area of work, in the locality; and so does woman.
According to Philip Sullivan (1977:4), sexuality is a gift that touches human person on all levels of their existence. It is not a gift that touches us just one or a few levels of our existence; rather it is a gift that spans the whole germust of human existence, thus becoming an ontological determinant of human existence and personality. Sexuality touches us on the personal or spiritual, religious, aesthetic nature and our inter-subjective relationship with both God and other people. Human sexuality functions as an important source and means of personal growth towards maturity. From the religious point of view, human sexuality is a gift of God and it is good. The entire creation is good. “God saw everything He had made and indeed , it was very good”. (Cf Genesis 1:31)

Sex as different from sexuality:

The term sex means “coitus” (i.e a sexual activity between a man and a woman), anatomic structures as well as the concept of gender – the state of being male or female. Sex, according to Oxford Advanced Learner’s Dictionary is “a state of being a male or a female gender”.
Chambers 1st Century Dictionary says that it can also be referred to as physical activity between two persons in which they touch each other’s sexual organs, and which may include sexual intercourse. However, our youths nowadays have misunderstood the very conception of it. I suppose that’s why Aristotle objected that the youths shouldn’t be allowed to rule the state because of the climax of youthful exuberances in them.

There are groups of youths in a certain school who find it so difficult to understand what sex is all about and so they were asked the question: What does the word sex means and the following answers were given:

Sex is love.
Sex is enjoyment between a boy and a girl.
Sex is an activity when sperm and egg meet.
Sex is when a boy and a girl meet for something hidden. 

Sex is when male and female mix together.

This clearly shows that, generally, sex is conceived as a genital activity by most people while actually the term “sex” includes the gender of a person, the genders role in reproduction and other physical sexual activities.

Two Dimensions of Sex:
i. Genital sex
ii. Non-genital sex.

i. Genital Sex refers to every contact between male and female reproductive organs; however, it is specially reserved for married people.

ii. Non-genital sex refers to all other relationship between male and female and they are necessary for a full human development.

3.0 CHARACTERISTICS OF HUMAN SEXUALITY

This is divided into primary and secondary characteristics

3.1 PRIMARY CHARACTERISTICS
Specifically, the primary characteristics of human sexuality are related to reproduction and include sex organs.
3. SECONDARY CHARACTERISTICS
Secondary characteristics are the attributes other than the sex organs; they generally distinguish one sex from the other but are not essential to reproduction, such as the larger breast characteristics of women and the facial hair and deeper voice characteristics of men.

3.3DIFFERENT TYPES OF SEXUALITY

3.3.1 HETERO- SEXUALITY

Hetero-sexuality simply means a sexuality that occurs when a person who is sexually attracted to a person of the opposite sex. Therefore, instructively and naturally too, men and women are made to tend toward each other on account of their sexual drives and love. Hetero-sexuality is a sexual intercourse between two opposite sex that is between man and woman.

3.3. HOMOSEXUALITY

The term homosexuality is based on the Greek word “homos” meaning “the same” thus; homosexuality literally means the same sexuality. ”Homo” means the same. It also means a person, usually man, who is sexually attracted to people of the same sex.
According to Karl H. Peschke (004:48), homosexuality is a persistent, predominant erotic attraction of the same sex.
For Anthony et al (1997:189), homosexuality is the absence of attraction toward members of the opposite sex.
4.0 IMPLICATIONS OF GENITAL SEXUAL RELATIONS IN HUMAN SEXUALITY:

As regards to human sexuality, Leonie Mc Sweeney rightly remarked that God created the act of sex for two closely related reasons.
I First for the continuation of human race.
Ii Second to provide man and woman unique means of addressing their love for each other in marriage. T. P. Doyle (1984:84) didn’t deviate from this truth when he says that “the unitive-procreative aspect in intercourse is part of human nature.”

5.0 RELATED CONCEPTS OF HUMAN SEXUALITY:

5.1 Masturbation
The word masturbation was derived from the Latin words “manu” and ”stupare” that is to defile with the hand or “manu” and “turbare” that is to disturb with the hand. In males, masturbation is the self-stimulation of the penis, usually with hands, till ejaculation of semen is obtained. Windows 8 dictionary defines masturbation as self-pollution or Onanism (Gen 38:9).
In females, it can be performed usually through rubbing of the vagina usually with the hands towards the manifestation of an orgasm. Psychologically, masturbation is a passing phase of life on the way from childhood to adult stage. Under this aspect, masturbation is the expression of a still immature personality. As a result of the Karl Peschike (004:450) asserts “Masturbation, if not overcome in due time and if continue in habitual way, psychologist are inclined to suspect emotional conflicts, inability to give sex and love their proper place in healthy emotional living or some similar disturbance.

5. Dangers of Masturbation:
Majority of youngsters who indulge in this act normally grow with it into adulthood, and adults who always masturbate see themselves handicapped in the development of an individual marital love. These are some of the dangers.

5..1 Child Sexual Abuse:
This can be defined as sexual relationship between a child and anyone who has authority over him. It can take place both within and outside the family; the cases within the family may be from parents, stepparents, siblings or other relatives. Those outside the home may be by friends, neighbours, childcare persons or direct sponsors or even strangers.

5.. Dangers of Child Sexual Abuse:
A child who is a victim of prolonged sexual abuses usually develops low self-esteem, a feeling of worthlessness and an abnormal view of sex and can become suicidal in the future, if care is not taken. Also, some of the victims do have the difficulty to relate with others except on sexual terms.

5..3 Fornication:
This is voluntary sexual intercourse outside marriage. The New Testament categorically rejects all fornication as opposed to the justice of the kingdom of God. Christ lists fornication together with adultery among the evil things that comes from within a person’s heart and defiles him (Mt 15:19, Mk 7:1-3).

6.0 NON MARITAL SEXUAL RELATIONS:

6.1 Prostitution:
Prostitution comes from Latin root “Prostituere or prostitutum” meaning an “offer for sale”. Prostitution therefore, means an act of having sexual intercourse for money making. It is carried out without any proper love between man and woman. Prostitution is the worst extramarital sexual relationship that brings curse and malaise upon the victim at the end.

6. Adultery:
This is from the root word “adult” which means “full grown mature”. Therefore, adultery literally means sexual intercourse between adults that are from 18years and above. Chambers 1st century dictionary says that adultery means a sexual relation willingly undertaken between a married person and one who is not his or her spouse. Adultery is a sin against Chastity, justice and fidelity. Moreover, adultery involves destructive consequences for the love, harmony and stability in the family of married partners.

6.3 Incest:
Is sexual intercourse between persons who are closely related by blood or affinity, e.g. between a brother and sister, or between parents, grandparents, etc. The Old Testament forbids incestuous unions in order to create healthy offspring, sound family and stability of social life.

6.4 Sin of Violence/rape:
Rape is an illegal intercourse with a woman against her consent, either by physical or moral force or that the woman is insane or intoxicated. It is a grave offence against sexual responsibility and against justice because the woman’s right and her body are violated. In addition, the violation may bring social dishonor to her and obstruct her future marriage.

7.0 SEXUAL RISKS:
According to Encarta Encyclopedia, there are number of disturbing sexually related public health and social policy issues facing countries around the world today. According to the United States Centers for disease control and prevention, a teen becomes pregnant every 30seconds and every 13seconds a teen contacts a sexual transmitted infection (STI). According to the centers, those who engage in heterosexual intercourse without the use of condom are at the greatest risk to contact the infection of Human Immune deficiency Virus (HIV) which leads to Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome (AIDS) which is often ultimately fatal. Another serious sexually transmitted disease is syphilis which, if left untreated for many years can lead to paralysis, psychological illness and death.

8.0 ARGUMENTS IN FAVOUR OF HUMAN SEXUALITY:

8.1 To release tension and anxiety: Having sexual intercourse as a result of anxiety and tension is good so long as you will achieve your aim.
8. Happiness: Since having sexual intercourse makes one to be happy, therefore, indulge in it, as the proponents advised.
8.3 Proving Fertility: How can one prove that she is fertile without the visible sign of pregnancy which is acquired during intercourse? Therefore, for a woman to prove her fertility she needs to be pregnant and for a man to show he is potent, he needs to have sex with a woman.
9.0 ARGUMENTS AGAINST HUMAN SEXUALITY:
9.1 The Doctrine Of The Magisterium: The magisterium of the church has repeatedly expressed her conviction that pre-marital intercourse is in fact gravely sinful. Sexual relations outside the context of marriage constitute grave disorder. On the part of the woman, when sexual intercourse is done before marriage, it gives room for doubt and eliminates the idea of trust.
9. The Dignity of Women Is In Jeopardy: It has been examined closely that sexual intercourse outside marriage often leads to hatred by male counterparts, who will say that he has gotten what he wants, thereby having reduced the dignity of the woman before him.
9.3 Sexual Relation as One of the Terminators of Marriage: Sexual relationship is one of the factors that dissolve marriages today. For about 75% of men would not happily accept to marry the person they have polluted. They often look for a fresh garden.
9.4 Sexual Relation Leads To Late Marriage: Since the man has promised to marry the woman, he will continue to delay while the woman will absolutely rely on him for marriage. On the long run, he will disappoint her and go his way. Before she realizes what is happening, it will already be late.
9.5 Pre-marital Sex is Inimical of African Culture: As Africans, the parents of a girl cannot allow her to play waywardness and keep a male friend unless the man comes and say his mind. It is not only that, the man would do all the requirements of African Culture as pertaining to marriage before the parents would be at ease to release their daughter.

10.0 CONCLUSION

We are called to keep our body holy as it is the Holy Spirit who lives in us and was given to us by God (1 cor. 6:19).

 Let us heed to the call by telling ourselves “YES I CAN”.