Tears Are Older Than Smiles

A LENTEN PILGRIMAGE    Rev. Fr. K M George 

The Tears

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Tears are older than smiles in human biological evolution. 

They have a clear physical function. The lacrimal secretion known as tears constantly cleans and lubricates the eye balls. However, we usually associate tears with our emotions.

Our eyes can be watery for various reasons. Some of the reasons are physical. For example, when we have an allergy or nerve malfunction, when dust particles or other irritants enter the eye in response to some pungent vapour like that of the onion, we ‘cry’.

At the psychological level, tears are related to our deep emotions. For example, when we have a sense of loss by death or otherwise of a family member or a close friend, or when we lose some of our valuable material belongings by theft, fire or accident.

Some cry by empathy, when they see the pain and misery of another person, or read the news of a tragic event involving death and suffering of people. Some of us cry when we are afraid, or feel insulted or helpless and so on. These are tears of sadness. Some shed tears when they are overcome with a sudden burst of joy that is unexpected. This happens, for example, when they achieve a coveted position or prize or a bumper lottery, when there is a chance meeting with a long-lost bosom friend or when they hear a touching word of appreciation...These are tears of joy.

Regardless of the emotional trigger, through the shedding of tears, we are able to release the mounting stress in us, restore the balance, and clean the windscreen of our mind, just like the physical function of tears that lubricate and thus clean the eyes.

In the Lenten period the hymns and prayers speak a great deal about tears, but on a different plane. First there are tears of repentance. We cry when we realize that we have done some serious wrong to others by hurting them in some way, by neglecting our duties, squandering our resources, being insensitive to the love of others or when we feel remorse for some criminal acts on our part. At a psychological level or a deeper spiritual level, these tears are considered healthy. 

These are the tears that are associated with a true sacramental confession. Tears can be more or less a sure sign that the person realizes his or her serious sinful acts (not forgetting that some people can wilfully produce tears that are deceptive, the ‘crocodile’ tears). Repentance should not be limited to the admission of sins but also a sincere submission to the love, compassion and forgiveness of God, and consequently a wilful determination on our part not to repeat the sinful conduct. We tend to cry when we receive unconditional forgiveness for the sins of omission and commission on our part. This leads us to reconciliation with God and our fellow human beings. It generates internal peace and the virtue of genuine hope within us. We are assisted in this process by the grace of the Holy Spirit who helps us discern the way of light and life.

Secondly, there are tears that are generally called ‘the gift of tears’ in the spiritual tradition of the eastern church. This is far deeper than the tears of repentance. The physical, emotional and ordinary spiritual reasons are not there. These tears flow out of a person spontaneously without wilful knowledge or control when that person is filled with a profound awareness of God’s creation, the mystery of love and the depth of existence. These tears embody all that we speak about regarding compassion, empathy, repentance, forgiveness, joy, reconciliation and so on, but transcend all these. Their source is totally unknown. So it is called a gift. It is ecstatic in character for those who receive this gift. 

The gift of tears point to the mystery of creation.

The gospels pass under respectful silence the tears that flowed from Jesus in the solitary nights with only the moon and the stars, the wild figs and olives or the total darkness as His only witnesses when He withdrew from even his close disciples and went apart to pray. They, however, explicitly mention Jesus weeping at the tomb of His friend Lazarus or at the sight of the beauty of Solomon’s temple of Jerusalem. We may understand in human terms the reasons for His tears on such occasions, but not the other. 

We have examples, even that only partly known, of saints like Saint Isaac of Nineveh who spoke about the experience of the gift of tears. As a young boy this writer had heard stories from an elderly gentleman contemporary of Saint Mar Gregorios of Pampady, about the discreet and abundant tears of the ascetic bishop while the latter was a deacon. Retrospectively one wonders if those tears had anything to do with this gift.